Thursday, September 2, 2010

In Bonn, Deutschland

Once upon a time there lived a young missionary in Germany, who wanted to be good. He lived in the ward boundaries of a member who was wise beyond her years. This ward member had a quote book out of which a young Elder Williams read the following:

Are you wandering or being led?

I have been thinking a lot lately why life feels off. Recently, things just seem to be harder--like trying to run in molasses, or trying to see far-off without glasses. I am straining. I am strained. I was reading out of my past journals (an activity I practice when looking for solutions to current problems), and was surprised again how much I learn from what I wrote. A journal is a godsend. A bible.

I didn't ask the Lord about any of the decisions I made this fall. Not where I live, not what classes I am taking, not what clubs to join, what sports to play, what activities to fill my time. I did it all by myself and it is starting to show. Do we ever really know what is good for us? I am starting to doubt it.

I realize now that instead of being led to where the Lord wants me this semester, I was wandering to and fro, searching for where I thought I would be of most use and happiest. Wandering, Searching, Testing. These are all good methods and sometimes God will send us down those paths--give us time to think about what we've done or where we need to go. But to embark on a stint of wandering without direction is just dawdling life away. There is such a thing as happy diversion, or needed sauntering. But those are afternoon pursuits only valued when their length allows for a return to the paths of progression. Right?



Am I wandering through life or being led?

Perhaps I missed a chance to do something great this fall; To grow from a class I should have taken, to serve in a capacity I might have been given, or to simply be at peace with the world around me.

The story continues: After having forgotten the source of his happiness, the next time this former young missionary was faced with a decision, he turned and asked God, "What wouldst thou have me do, now?"

4 comments:

  1. I feel like I have to learn this lesson over and over again. It's a hard one. God speed, cousin. And come visit us already.

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  2. He wilst have you come to disneyland with us

    Bryce

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  3. Ditto what Bryce said.. hahah Disneyland is what God would lead you to.... or at least that's where he leads me... haha :)

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  4. Since this is old I don't know if you care, but to correctly quote it is "Are we wandering, or are we being guided?"

    tiene el mismo sentido... I can't think of how to say that in English and make it sound good. I'm going back to my Spanish homework now.

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