"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!"
Sometimes I don't get what brings two people together and causes them to start dating. Let's go through the progression:
-The reasons we like others may go as deep as their hair color, their hair style, their lack of braces, how fast they can run the Park mile, their dodgeball/capture the flag/PE abilities. I once had a crush on a girl because she used crutches. Deep and abiding are not the words I'd use for middle school romance.
-The reasons we like people in this season is even less connected with reality. We like people because they have cool cars, are on a school sports team or cheer squad, they sit next to us in class, they listen to the same music we do, they wear pink and say "like" a hundred times a day, they make us feel cool or give us a status symbol, and probably, they like to kiss A LOT. Just a few of the reasons high school loves are formed, I feel.
Freshman Year of College:
This is a tricky stage to find love in. The reasons here for two people liking each other vary greatly, but I can still think of a few generals. The reasons might be they simply HAVE a car (regardless of how cool), once again, they probably like to kiss a lot, or an admiration for the pursuits and immature goals one has as a freshman, the "funness" of another person, or a yearning to find someone to care for you whilst one is far from home.
Young Adult Life:
There is this gross misconception that the coming together of two people in this stage is without the fallacies of the previous dating/finding love stages. It is full of them, as well. But this stage, I suppose, is where finding love is the best balance between admiration and infatuation. What is love without some infatuation? I think the best reasons for two people coming together in this season are a deep respect for what the other values, a commitment to care for another person amidst weakness, a similar perspective of life and its dealings, and an enjoyment of one another in any and all (or at lease most) situations.
Still, I cannot help feel that love is this game of picking and choosing, debating and deciding whether his/her skills are cool enough for my attention. If love is a case of skills, then I am lost. I have no skills! (And please hold any flattering comments). I have nothing to put on display in front of the girls I like. No cool car, no cool hair, no cool singing abilities, no cool sports teams, no cool jokes, or cool muscles. If love is bred of coolness and skills, then once again, I am not bred for love.
I guess I just don't understand the concept yet. Either love is skills or it is chance. Either it is coolness or it is timing. Two people have to meet each other and for some reason, aside from coolness and skills, decide that the other person is worth abandoning independence and solitude. And if that's the case--probability and timing--then I can't ever assume the second hand will strike in my direction. So I guess I'd better start developing some sweet skills.
What brings two people together?