Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Purse and Lots of Tush

I realize that most posts concern my experiences with the outside world and my man-bag, but I need to add one more--perhaps a concluding experiencing. The cap on the man "purse" debate. I inadvertently got the deciding vote the other day.

I made a late night run to Sports Authority last week--I had to pick up some soccer shin guards and a whiffle ball. I picked out the cheapest shin guards and my favorite half-slitted Whiffle Ball, Inc. whiffle ball and headed to the cashier. I waited in line for a few minutes and had a chance to observe the man working behind the register. First, he was giving advice about the proper upkeep of hiking boots. Next, he was counseling the following customer on the advantages of "ear-candy" earbuds in contrast with apple earphones. I had ample time to notice and measure the amount of flamboyance with which the man made transactions and the overall vivacity he exhibited with his male customers. I won't say what my conclusion was, for that would be a bold critique and unfair judgement, but I dare say the man knew his way around in the world of fashion and glamour. As I checked out, I was enjoying a conversation about whiffle ball and warranty plans with my questionable, new cashier-friend as I saw his eyes turn to my bag. Now you understand, there are moments in life when we pre-eminently realize something is about to happen. I had seen it happen often, and recently. I am well aware of and familiar with the precursors to the ensuing comment. His eyes centered on my bag, then shot up to the left in sudden deep thought, and his focus settled once again on me before remarking, "Nice man-purse." I politely nodded my head in subtle rebuke, grabbed my purchased items, and made a move for the door before I heard him correct himself, saying, "Oh wait, what am I saying, that isn't a purse--it's a man bag." He flapped his wrist goodbye at me as I nearly skipped out the door. If there ever were an expert of the terminology of bags and purses, I had just met him, and he had confirmed my long-defended position. Thank you gay man.

Another experience that has provoked some thought was my seeing the movie The Time Traveler's Wife. Overall, I thought it was well done (although the fact that it was a Focus Features studio production did affect my bias). The adaptation, I heard, was shaky, but it was filled with enough of Eric Bana's and Rachel McAdam's tushies that the overall experience was uplifting. The plot/movie prompted some good thoughts, although I could have done without the backside smorgasbord. I don't have much else to say about the experience except that I have recently enjoyed asking people if they have seen the movie and then making a comment including the word "tushy" somehow. Language and conversation can get pretty boring at times if you don't bring words like "tushy" into your constant mix of verbs and nouns. Not to mention, by the way, the film began with the song Es ist ein Ros entsprungen--one of the most beloved German Christmas hymns. I was pleasantly surprised and haven't stopped whistling it since leaving the theater.


  1. Thank you gay man. I love that you don't make any comments or judgments about him until your last few words. Love the German hymn. Great post.

  2. I'm still a fan of the man-bag. And he was absolutely right. It's a bag; not a purse. And I've been around the world of handbags a time or two myself.

    Your brother has been turing to the word "booty" as a "butt"-alternative lately, but I'm leaning more toward the "tushy," side, myself. If you hadn't guessed, "butt" has been officially added to that infamous list of "words we don't say").

    Can't wait to see you at Thanksgiving!

  3. I should let you know that Focus Features is the studio that released such atrocities as "Brokeback Moutain" (not that I'm anti-gay: but that movie was just plain stupid-cheesy), and Hamlet 2 - which was the biggest waste of two hours in my life so far; last but not least, "Burn After Reading", which proves the media's love-affair with the Coehn Brothers, not matter what level of garbage they produce.

    However, they did release The Constant Gardener, Brick, and Eastern Promises - so for that, they have redeemed themselves.